What a World...

The day is winding to a close--well, the work day, at least. It's been an annoying week of bullshit and weird wannabe publicists--don't ask.

I did a great interview this afternoon with a fantastic musician whose band will be featured in the music section this weekend. From one of her photos, I thought she looked like Megan Fox a bit, but I think it's just this pesky discount LASIK once again. Boooooo!

Also, to pay homage to the X Games, we've got a special double-edition of The List coming up. NOT to be missed.

But you'll never know what's up unless you pop in and check it out. I've gotta get home and relax a bit.

Ew, What's that Smell?!?!?

Why is somebody in this office eating something that smells like a dirty baby diaper? Jesus H . Christ...

Anyway, the latest issue of Allegory Weekly is live. It was a long weekend. Went out of town. Slept in a nice Comfort Inn. Waited in lots of lines. Took MANY cat-naps. Had an agoraphobic bitch-fest. Sigh...I love Comic-Con.

But I digress...

The issue is up and it rocks. I know I say that each week, but this week is really cool. I love the List. It's one of my all-time favorites because it's soooooo random and funny.

The Allegory Story is on Ellen Clifford--a cool actress with a bright future ahead of her.

Check out the music feature on Bird Names. This one really kicks butt. I'm in love with this band. If you like lo-fi noise pop, you'll love this group. AND they're really funny dudes, too.

Art & Style is also spectacular. We profile this genius interior designer named Hilary White. The pics are outstanding. I think she's spectacular.

As for the Honey blog, don't worry--it's coming back. The password will be Raw Honey. We're going to be showcasing the dirty blog for a while, so if you're a horny perv, consider it an early Xmas gift.

www.allegoryweekly.com

What Am I Doing Up at This Ungodly Hour?

I have to be at work in 5 hours. I'm watching Wet Hot American Summer.

Is that the name of it? It's the thing with all the people from "The State" and The Baxter.

www.allegoryweekly.com

Drag. Bummer. Cluster-fuck

I'm listening to "Things Ain't Like They Used to Be" by the Black Keys. Getting ready to leave work for the day. I love this song.

I have love life confusion, y'all. Doing tarot card readings only serves to confuse me. I think I just need to stop listening to bummer jams such as this one. This is how all my self-loathing and bullshit starts, people. With slow-tempo indie rock.

I'm gonna have mcnuggets for dinner and unleash my frustrations on the stairmaster.

Bon Weekend. New Allegory will be up this weekend.

What You Will Be Doing This Weekend

See this dude to the left? That's DJ Stephen R.

He's a cool bloke. He talks really fast. He gets super excited about stuff. He's a libra and he enjoys cheap wine from Trader Joe's.

Stevie Wonder (as I call him) will be throwing down on some wheels of steel Saturday (July 25) when his company, Architects and Heroes hosts its first big L.A. shindig at:

The Silver Echo Gallery

2165 Clifford Street (at Alvarado) in Los Angeles. The thingy starts at 8pm and goes til whenever. I will be at Comic-Con, however. So...

I've Seen Your Movie, and it's GOOOOOOOOOOOD

Kudos to my negro, Drew Barrymore, for having directed a fine first feature film. I screened Whip It last night with another writer friend of mine. Wow!

I hated the opening title sequence. I mean, don't get it twisted--I love the fact that she dropped Kings of Leon's "Knocked Up" in there. But the titles were a little too Hal Hartley for me. However, the rest of the film was outstanding. It was funny and touching and so effing cool! OMG! Good for her. I was super impressed.

I'm thinking about getting away for another weekend vaycay. I have a lot of annoying things (and by things I usually mean "people") I'm dealing with lately. I'd love to have a laser gun that melts people's faces off at will. Hmm... somebody should mock that up along with the widget I requested a little while back. I still expect my cut, though. These ideas aren't for free, folks.

Listening to the Specials right now. "Do Nothing." I dig this song. Some of their stuff annoys me, but this is a good song--in the "woe is me; life is putrid, let me have an emo freak-out" sort of way.

Hmm...what else? Oh yeah! Comic-Con is going down in the S.D. this weekend. Hope you got your tix for that shit. Love that event. Check out the List. It's the 10 best and worst things about Comic-Con. There's some pretty funny stuff there.

Allegory Weekly loves you like no other...

Oh, How the Mighty Have Fallen

Went to Spaceland last night with my friend, Marya. 'Twas dismal. Mind you, the last time I was there was during the whole Castledoor month of beauty. Man, that band draws a good crowd. This apparently is not so with some other local talent...

That burg was, like, a ghost town or something. Holy shizz. There were three people up in that piece. Que Carajo!

Kinda made for a sad evening, you know.

Listening to Otis Redding right now. Good stuff. He was so awesome and country and soulful. I love his little low fro.

There should be a widget that takes your emails and automatically applies them to your Twitter page. Can somebody come up with that? I'm too busy to do it myself. Just cut me in on the deal 5% and I'll be a happy beyotch.

Seacrest, out!

You Know What's Weird to Me?

That Jimmy from "Degrassi" is, like, a huge rap star all of a sudden. I used to laugh my balls off on that show when they'd let him spit. It was funny to me. But he doesn't suck in real life. Still, it weirds me out to see him out of his element of pimply-faced Canadian teens with issues.

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!

Listening to Castledoor right now. I'm telling you--this band is fantastic.

Pipin' Hot

Dudes and Dudettes--
This week's Allegory is up and it's a live one.

For all of you out there who have personally been plagued by unemployment woes, you'll TOTALLY want to read the Allegory Story featuring Dakotta Alex. He's a great recruiter, a good friend and the person who gave me my gig at the L.A. Times. So yay, him.

Music features the very talented (and he'll hate me for this, but cuuuuuuute) Mike Officer. This guy is a BEAST on stage. That mofo rocks his ASS off. For real.

The movie review of Death in Love is up. As is this week's feature on the new comedy Humpday which opens later this week.

There's all kinds of goodies to read and learn about. But you won't find them unless you go here.

Death in Love

I'm proud to announce that I saw a sick-ass film last week called Death in Love. It stars Lukas Haas and Adam Brody and Josh Lucas. It was AWESOME and crazy and VERY sexy.

Check out our official review of it tomorrow on Allegory Weekly and go see it this weekend.

Oh, Estrogen--You Crazy Little Minx, You

So, sorry about that angry little diatribe the other morning. Sometimes I gets my knickers in a twist and I have to vent. And since I can no longer afford therapy in this stoopid economy, I blow it out my ass on this blog.

To make amends, here's a sexy female. Hmm...wonder who that is?

Here's Me...Cringing

There's nothing that weirds me out more than creepy Internet stalkers. I'm not mad at people who look up their crushes--even I do that.

I'm just weirded out by the people who think they have ownership over your life just because they're acquainted with you and then use that to implant themselves in everything you do.

That is SUPER effing creepy. Sadly, I know lots of people like that. I wish I didn't, but I do.

Cooking with Gas

Praise Jesusa!!!!
My new Acer netbook arrived today in the mail, so I'm back online. And not a moment too soon. I used to always joke with people that when the revolution came, I'd TOTALLY give up Internet before getting rid of cable. But not having Internet access at home for a week as been a major pain in the butt.

OK, so now Allegory Weekly quality control is back!!!!! Full force.

Ugh, what a relief. Dude, I feel like breakdancing, I'm so happy. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

Double Your Pleasure...

So right now, I'm listening to "Comfy in Nautica" by Panda Bear. Music is seriously the only thing that gets me through the day lately. Lots of sadness and stress in the world. Yet, absolutely NONE exists within my iPod. Go figure...

I've got no plans for the weekend. Maybe a party with some publicists over at 42 West. Love those chicks. They crack me up. Especially Emily Lu. Give that girl a raise. She's the shit, seriously!

Will try to see Bruno. Hope to go with my buddy, Josh who looks just like Sacha Baron Cohen (and a little like Casey Affleck). That'll be hilarious.

Also, will have to wait around the house for the delivery of my new computer, as my Mac has crashed. This is the second one of those bad boys I've owned that overheated on me. My first was an iBook; this time, it's my Mac mini. Ugh, I hate to say this out loud, but I'm switching over to a PC. They're sooooooooooooooooo lame, I know. But until Steves Job and Wozniak can build something that won't break down on me after a couple of years, they can kiss me on the fat part of my ass.

The Art & Style section of Allegory Weekly has been updated. Enjoy! And have a safe weekend.

SEX

Great. Now that I've gotten your attention, the List for our double issue has been posted. Sorry that we're getting you this double issue in fragments. But due to some unforeseen circumstances, it's gotta be this way until our next issue.

But you're a trooper--You'll live.

Anyway, this list is a trip. I love it, Jordan the intern loves it and you will too.

Note to self: Party less, work harder

OK, so I'm switching out the Allegory Story with Adrian Zaw and sorry for leaving that up soooo long. But it's not like the dude ain't easy on the eyes.

Anyway, I noticed--for all you grammarphiles out there--a nice, savory typo on the homepage. I hate typos. Ever since we lost our managing editor (to a highly paying gig), this mag has been royally going into the crapper. I keed! I keed!!!

Sorry guys for the icky mistake. Many of you are probably too drunk or stoned to notice, and hey, I'm with ya. Everyone says I should let it go, but I'm far too self-depricating to do that. We're all alums of some pretty nice news organizations, so we'll try to do better next time What's left of us, at least. We're down to three people, so I guess we're doing something right. This publication was started to help give some good friends something to do while looking for work in this awful economy and it's actually helped get them hired so I'm thrilled about that.

Anyway, check out this piece on Justin Kahn. He's a DJ. He's a real estate dude. He's a friend.

www.allegoryweekly.com